Mike’s Corner: Quite the scandal

By Mike Wagoner
Reader Contributor

Archaeologists keep finding cool things out about us… our early history as a species… Homo Sapiens, baby… that’s who we are.

Evidently an early prototype of us appeared in Europe around 130,000 years ago… the Neanderthals. I love sayin’ that: “The Neanderthals.” Fossil evidence indicates they were badasses. Compared with ourselves, they were powerfully built, short and stocky. Their skulls were massive, with protruding faces and heavy, bony ridges over the brows. They were what was happening in both Europe and Asia up to about 70,000 years ago. They had some tools. But not long after that somebody else showed up on the scene… someone a little different… us… modern humans. 

Findings go on to suggest they disappeared for some reason and that’s where the theories kick in. What happened? Did we outcompete them for food… bring a disease that they had no resistance to, or just decided we hated them and killed them off?

Guess what has been discovered in the amazing world of genetic science: Neanderthal DNA has been recovered from fossil material and as it turns out… some remnants of their genes have turned up in present-day people mainly living in that part of the world.

I can imagine an early-modern human girl revealing to her parents that she has secretly been seeing a Neanderthal and has become pregnant… oh my God… quite the scandal. 

Whatever the type of vocal communication had evolved up to that point might have equated to something like, “Get in the cave young lady… I need to go huntin’ right now; but, when I get back, we’re gonna talk about this.”